It’s crazy how bad you can want something. I literally would sell my soul to have gone there..without hesitation.

I can’t make you love me..and I have to be okay in the pain..I have to be okay in the rejection… I have to understand that we weren’t meant to be, but this pain has a purpose. It still hurts and I still care, and I still have something to learn.

I hate everything about myself. And sometimes I really wonder how god could make something like me and try to call it perfect?
I am trying to love myself, but it’s hard to love something that not even your mother or father love. Something they tried to destroy and get rid of for so many years. How am I supposed to get past that in my mind when all I have ever heard is how ugly and stupid and worthless I am? How do you learn to love yourself when you can’t even believe yourself when you out sticky notes everywhere saying your beautiful, and smart and perfect just the way you are?

I know the truth, yet lies often comfort me.

Wishing everyone whiskey and wanderlust during the holidays.